Grief Journalism: How To Find Meaning When You’re Grieving — And Respect Other’s Grief

“One of the underappreciated and lesser-told stories of grief is the beauty that we encounter when working with people who are coping with any form of significant loss or transition of any kind,” says Dr Lucy Hone. An expert on coping with loss and helping people grieve better, she describes grief “as a portal to what really matters in life”.

In our grief-phobic society, navigating loss is always a complicated and non-linear journey; one that deserves more recognition and validation for the resilience it requires. And, as journalists, it can feel impossible to maintain the demands of our career — which frequently involves viewing traumatic or triggering content — and to continue to find meaning in our work.

It’s Important For Journalism To Cover All Facets Of Grief

It’s a question that’s informed much of Suyin Haynes’s work. Her newsletter, fragments, co-founded with june bellebono, was inspired by the loss of their siblings and explores identity and grief, blending the political and personal.

She says it’s important for the media to cover all facets of grief, especially after the “collective grieving” of the pandemic. She reflects: “If you’re human, to be human is to exist and to love other people, of that need for community, and therefore inevitably everybody’s going to experience grief at one point or another.”

However, for journalists on their grief journey, the priority is looking after themselves and learning that grief doesn’t go away. Instead, you’re confronted with learning how to live with it. Dr Lucy, whose Coping With Loss programme has a three-step model for resilience when navigating tough times.

Firstly, she says you need to focus on acceptance of the situation. “Resilient people get that suffering is a part of every human existence, stopping you from feeling discriminated against,” she explains. This can be helped by what she calls a “selective attention mindset”. “Resilient people choose where to select attention, have a habit of realistically appraising situations, and manage to focus on things that can change and somehow accept what can’t.” This, she says, is a vital and learnable skill for resilience.

She recommends being aware of when “doubts threaten to overwhelm” and instead try to tune into the good. She adds: “Don’t lose what you have to what you have lost; find things to be grateful for [and] switch your focus of attention. Think of three good things that happen every day.” It’s something she describes as a “deliberate, ongoing effort”.

Finally, Dr Lucy recommends a simple question to sense-check, asking yourself: “Is what I’m doing helping or harming me?” She says this can be a particularly powerful question for journalists, especially in fast-paced environments where you’re forced to cover hard-hitting stories to a deadline.

Look After Your Body, Mind, And Spirit

It’s an approach echoed by Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell. She’s the founder of The Grief Clinic, where she supports clients through trauma, loss, and grief. Her approach is three-fold and centres on looking after your body, mind, and spirit. She recommends: “Start to ground yourself, start to really listen to what your body needs.

“Then we look at the mind […] do you have an attitude of self-compassion? Tune into that because that’s the key: to be able to kind of accept that life is uncertain, that bad things happen to good people, that you’re gonna have to live with the absence. You have to have an attitude of kindness, grace and compassion to yourself.”

For the spirit, Dr Chloe says it’s about “working with meaning [and] what anchors you”. “I associate meaning with your spirit and your soul,” she continues. This is something that can be particularly meaningful for journalists, integrating this purpose with your practice by finding projects that resonate with you and provide a sense of fulfilment.

Dr Lucy Hone (L) and Suyin Haynes (R)

Suyin sees her future direction in journalism entwined with fragments, “as a continuation of the work that I’ve done and am continuing to do. It’s great to be able to share that with other people, to be able to give voice to people who might not have that elsewhere and who might not have that with the same level of care that we try and provide.”

Similarly, Amie Fretter is the co-host of the podcast if we don’t laugh we’ll cry, created with her sister to normalise conversations about grief, especially as young grievers. She says she finds her work incredibly rewarding, but that centring your own needs is vital, especially when creating such personal and candid conversations.

“Make sure that you’re being patient because you can’t create work that’s of any value if it’s at the detriment of your mental health and your grief journey,” she explains, “that’s not sustainable work, so you have to really make sure you’re ready.” It’s crucial to be aware that this type of content creation is different to something like clothes reviewing; this personal content creation requires you to listen to your body and be careful not to fall into an autopilot of pushing on.

Amie adds: “We will never push each other to film if we don’t feel up to it. There have been times where we’ve had the whole setup ready, we’ve been sitting with the mics and then it’s just like: ‘oh this doesn’t feel right today’ — and then we just pack up and we go. I think that’s really important to have if you’re wanting to create like candid and authentic content because the second you’re forcing something, especially about topics like this, you can see right through it.”

Set Boundaries And Recognise Your Triggers

Suyin also stresses the importance of setting boundaries within your work and recognising your triggers. “Be mindful in covering stories that are related to grief in the news because even though you feel that you might be equipped to do so, recognising those is important,” she explains. By putting yourself in control of your mental health, you can ensure you’ll continue to carry out meaningful work. She recognises “a certain degree of autonomy that you can get through self-creation” but says there are things all journalists can do to protect themselves.

“Do whatever you can do to re-establish control in your life, [perhaps] that’s having, kind of, a ritual. I used to always try and get up every morning by eight o’clock and always go out for a walk and listen to a podcast, just a silly podcast about nothing serious,” she explains.

Most importantly, she highlights the importance of saying if you’re unable to cope, rather than pushing yourself to meet unrealistic deadlines. “It is really important to ask for that and, hopefully, be in an environment where you can feel supported and empowered to do so.”

Both IMPRESS and IPSO, the UK’s press regulators, have guidelines to support the public from unethical reporting, with the former stressing that publishers should “be careful to avoid exacerbating such people’s grief or shock by publishing unnecessary or sensational details of an event.” This emphasis placed on grief reporting underscores our commitment to honouring the grief of others; however, it is important to recognise the need to honour our own grief too.

A Responsibility To Create Authentic Grief Journalism

It’s only by following these practices of support, emotional readiness, and respect that we can truly create authentic grief journalism for the benefit of us all. The media has a responsibility to increase representation, which works towards normalising and sustaining the topic of grief, especially as much of our understanding is shaped by what we consume through the media.

For Suyin, this means avoiding stigmatising language like “grief-stricken” or “grief-struck”, which frames it as something abnormal or time-limited, rather than a lifelong journey. At the same time, journalists should take care to avoid dehumanising or sensationalising the concept.

Dr Lucy urges journalists to push further: “Tell all aspects of the grief story, so when people are going through significant loss or change they can notice the beauty, the strength, the compassion, the understanding, the support.”

Taking this approach forward is vital for a more grief-literate society. To be human, it is to love and to lose — let us strive for a media and society that reflects both, giving voice and recognition to all and finding ways to live and grieve at the same time.